When it comes to grabbing a bargain tote bag, there’s no excuse for you to slip that baby on your arm and somehow manage to look like a floozy that’s on the wrong side of 40, gotten dressed in the dark and staggered out into the street looking for a good time.

No, the only way to look when you’re dripping a Louis Vuitton off your arm is as though you’ve just exited a high class salon, nails manicured within an inch of their lives and an air of total superiority.

For that reason I’m going to help to choose from some of the best discount handbags on the market. That way I’ll sleep at night because I’ll know that you’re not walking the streets with your eyes fixed on the floor, hoping to trip over someone else’s lost dollar, or worse – simpy trip up because you thought your bag would look better if matched with 6" cheap and nasty stilettos.

My best pick of what’s on offer is the Coach Signature Stripe Swingpack Crossbody Messenger Bag Purse 42619 in Mahogany Brown. Now anyone that knows anything about Coach handbag will also know that they’re not cheap handbags full stop, so no excuses with messing this one up.

At less than $120 you’re getting a high class, top quality designer handbag that’s functional, hot and affordable. The material is waterproof with a leather trim, the hardware and fastenings are silver and totally compliment the style, plus it’s a beautiful example of what a great crossbody bag should look like.

The way to wear it is for you to match up with the blurb that goes right alongside it: less is more. You get that? Buy this bag and look like you own it, not as though you own a part share in some sleazy bar. This bag is oozing with understated style, it’s right on trend and the design is to die for.

Coach Signature Stripe Swingpack Crossbody Messenger Bag Purse 42619 Mahogany Brown Sale Price: $139.99   Eligible for free shipping! Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days

Wear it well and you will look like a million dollars.

The second cheap designer bag that should raise your spirits, style and overall look is the Acme Made Trixy. It retails at around $70 and it’s the bag that has it all; designer tote bag appeal, highly functional and the kind of detailing that any woman on the go should look out for.

The exterior is fully waterproof and the interior has a delicious pink lining, zippered pockets and enough space to comfortably hold a 15.4 inch laptop. The hardware is up to a high standard, the pink contrasting detail is heavenly and, when it’s hung off your shoulder, it should make you look like an angel, rather than a burned out reject from Hades.

There’s an accessory pouch that you can remove in need be, the computer section is the same – leave it in the handbag or remove it. It has everything going for it and you’ve nothing to lose by purchasing it and turning it into your purse-for-all-occasions.

Acme Made Trixy (Chocolate) List Price: $129.99 Sale Price: $109.99 You save: $20.00 (15%)   Eligible for free shipping! Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days

This is the type of bag that well pep you up and make you look fashionable and trendy, rather than dump you unceremoniously into the gutter with all the other slutty undesirables. All women’s cheap designer handbags should raise the bar, not drop it so low that even a pro-limbo dancer would struggle to crawl beneath it.

Now you know how to wear your designer bag, wear it with pride, elegance and a slightly arrogant look. That’s what designer bags are for, they’re supposed to make you look classy – not trashy!

I had always wondered what the luxury automobile companies did with their old brochures. Now I know – at least in the case (sic) of Maserati, who are turning their old brochures into a limited edition eco-bag tote.

Each one is unique, there will be 150 Maserati eco-bags for sale and they retail for E150 a piece. Odd. I think I like it……..